I tried writing songs But the music doesn’t fit and the words fall short Some days felt like weeks and some weeks felt like days But what the hell could I possibly say To explain this.
Some people expect me to be okay Just get through the day And maybe if I’m lucky I wont think. What a thought. I never could have imagined a time In which thinking about her— Someone I loved so dearly— Would bring me pain.
I never thought my favorite song Would loom over me like a loaded gun Threatening to fire at any moment. I never thought I would be so afraid of people, So apologetic to people when I had no reason To be sorry. I never thought I would feel such frustration Toward every person who doesn’t understand. And it’s not their fault. It’s not anyone’s fault.
The world expects you to wake up and feel better than the day before To get that much closer to the inevitable acceptance that supposedly takes place Get your work done on time. Eat meals regularly.
Just push, they say. Push through sorrow, Wake up on time, Dress and make yourself pretty Smile and keep pretending. There are days I’m okay There are times that I can laugh That I feel joy and life feels normal. But like insects that find their way indoors The feelings creep back into me because they know there is something dead and rotting inside.